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Face Down

by Henri Bardot

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1.
Loser 03:23
Last night when we went to bed, you were sleeping I was thinking The last time I felt like this, I was running out of money How am I back to being such a mess When are you going to see it How I'm doing lately How am I back to being such a mess When are you going to see it That I'm a loser, I'm a loser baby Last night when you went to bed, I ordered pills to keep my hair The white lies you tell yourself, are they holding you together How am I back to being such a mess When are you going to see it How I'm doing lately How am I back to being such a mess When are you going to see it That I'm a loser, I'm a loser baby When I come down, when I come down where will you be When you find out, when you find out where will you be You tell me to love myself, you tell me to love myself And I know I know but lately I just don't You tell me to love myself, you tell me to love myself And I know I know but lately I just don't You tell me to love myself, you tell me to love myself And I know I know I know How am I back to being such a mess When are you going to see it How I'm doing lately How am I back to being such a mess When are you going to see it That I'm a loser, I'm a loser baby
2.
Some Ways 03:04
For all that I know you're better now, but somehow I doubt it I saw you outside, but I looked like hell so I snuck through the crowd I've never been the type to say I was wrong, but thinking back on it I wish I was honest Staring at the phone I wanted to talk, but I wasn't sure if you'd pick up the call In some ways you're always around me In some ways you're only a memory You have a nice life, I saw your dogs and the house that you furnished You go on a lot of morning walks, and pose for photos in the forest You never were the type to show yourself, so I took it all with a handful of salt When I was at the park I saw you there, but it was just someone with curls in her hair In some ways you're always around me In some ways you're only a memory In some ways you're always around me In some ways you're only a memory
3.
Parge 02:45
We looked for Saturn from your patio, next to the old highway And listened for the ocean through the humming of the trucks and the passing planes If I could hold on to a moment I might choose that one I held your arm till you went inside to warm up The small white flowers that you found along the ledge on your morning climb You lost your balance but unlike the times before you knew we'd be alright Now I hold on to a handful of things from your life And I plucked one to bury in the bed by your side
4.
Came To Me 02:30
Beside the road, where the waves don't make a sound You'll watch the coast, but do you think I'll be around I don't want to be alone But I won't just take this Crawled out of bed today And that's when it came to me Beside the road, when the stars start coming out You rubbed a stone, you say it helps the mind quiet down You don't want to be alone And I don't want to break this Crawled out of bed today And that's when you came to me
5.
Train Stop 02:45
On a night like any other night, I waited at the train stop By the time you came into sight, I knew that you were something else Now whenever I start to feel a little low, I read the note that you wrote And whenever I start acting a little off, you ask me what's really wrong Never knew where I belonged Now I know where I belong I want to see you when I come home Never knew where you belonged Now you know where you belong I'll see you when you come home On a night like any other night, I waited at the train stop
6.
Early one wet morning watching time sit there standing still, I saw a light Glowing from my window, looking down, I saw you standing there, full of life Only for a night, roses on your eyes, hold me tell me I'm alright Early one bright morning, my whole life sat there standing still, where was I Crawling from my window, coming down, I thought you'd still be there, full of life Only for a night, roses on your eyes, hold me tell me I'm alright Going out of my mind Calling your phone ten times Going out of my Only for a night, roses on your eyes, hold me tell me I'm alright Now early in my mornings, all my time is spent just standing there, looking out
7.
Sleep It Off 02:47
Staring at the sun I feel my eyes begin to water like when you moved out and I was 10 Thought I saw you up there in the sky but I know I've got some problems I should recognize Leave a light on I'm not walking out I'm walking it off Another night out dark enough for you to sleep it off Staring at your phone I see the smile I used to try to give you am I out of time Is this how we always were I honestly don't remember much these days what's wrong with me Leave a light on I'm not walking out I'm walking it off Another night out dark enough for you to sleep it off I don't remember now what do I like to do Almost December now the snow will be here soon Leave a light on I'm not walking out I'm walking it off Another night out dark enough for you to sleep it off Leave a light on I'm not walking out I'm walking it off Another night out dark enough for you to sleep it off
8.
Should I reach out Should I try writing something Wish I knew how to function Cover my eyes I don't want to know what happens I want to remember laughing When did the time get away from me Living inside are you tired of being lonely Give me a sign Tell me I'm on to something I never know who to trust when I'm face down Maybe you're right Maybe let's all just give in Maybe it's all or nothing I'm face down When did the time get away from me Living inside are you tired of being lonely Coming off fine when you're not ok Maybe this time we are finally changing
9.
Work It Out 03:13
Look at the time now, It's late and you know you should go But I know you won't The sun on your forehead, the morning came out of nowhere You shouldn't be here I kinda thought we would work it out It could have been right if we just let it Whenever I start to think about looking you up I should know better by now When I look outside I still wonder about your life It's funny how time can make you go crazy or make you alright I got on the last flight And as I was closing my eyes I heard your voice Woke up in New York Looked for you all through the airport What was I hoping for I kinda thought we would work it out It could have been right if we just let it Whenever I start to think about looking you up I should know better by now When I look outside I still wonder about your life It's funny how time can make you go crazy or make you alright I kinda thought we would work it out It could have been right, It could have been right I kinda thought we would work it out It could have been right, It could have been right, It could have been right But no, but no When I look outside I still wonder about your life It's funny how time can make you go crazy or make you alright
10.
Fill up the lighter We're going driving What's been on your mind With all the ways We've been going crazy I'll take us for a ride Full of every doubt Focused on the ways I let you down Covering my mouth Can't believe the shit I let come out I just hope you know I'm not this guy You close your eyes And go to an island Where the rain falls on the tide And as a red moon rises You're realizing It's not like I'm a prize Full of every doubt Focused on the ways I push you out Covering my mouth Can't believe the shit I let come out I just hope you know I'm not this guy Falling away, it's a long way down So look at my face, are you in or out In or out I just hope you know I'll keep on trying

credits

released May 5, 2023

Recorded in Portland, OR, mostly in a closet during Covid.

Written, recorded, produced, and mixed by Henri Bardot
All strings by Rob Moose
Add'l piano on "Train Stop" by Gabriel Kahane
Add'l vocals by Mree, Imaginary Future, and Miel
Cover photography by Mree

Mastered by Henri Bardot

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All Songs By Henri Bardot ©
2023 Henri Bardot Publishing (ASCAP)

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